I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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