addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
