I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
