Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
