he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
