During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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