Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
