Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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