I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
