i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
