I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
