Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
