my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
cat food counts as protein by the way
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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