I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
