while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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