Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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