so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
