Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
