what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
