that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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