Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The air was thick with penises
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize