Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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