I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
