he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
