Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
