Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
