I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
