I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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