Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
