don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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