i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
