I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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