I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Small penises have feelings too.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
did you just send me my own nude
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
