More tranny stories later!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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