Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
