Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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