What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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