Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my shit smells like andre
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
