you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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