I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
