You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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