i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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