we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
