does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
