I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
