At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
