But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
