Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
