Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
