LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
