I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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