This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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