i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
