She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
