i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
