If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
