walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
