i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
