Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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