What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I deserve this hangover.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize