the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
