You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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